Not Olympics, to boot, as in extra for free (lagniappe, as they say in New Orleans, and about nowhere else). No, Olympics to boot, as in events to kick out of the next Olympic games. Suggestions?Â
Gone already are men’s baseball and women’s softball. Why? Not a wide enough variety of nations play these games. Europe does not have baseball/softball, nor Africa, and only Japan and Korea play them in Asia. Besides, baseball does not draw the best American players, whose season continues though the games. In my judgment, Major League Baseball should have scheduled its All-Star break during the Olympic games each fourth year and sent its best players to the Olympics as ambassadors for the sport. They might become international superstars, like the NBA basketball players. But too late now.
By the way, the rule of baseball should be changed so that a player who is walked intentionally for a second time during a game should get a two-base walk.
As for women’s softball, a lot of games are mercied, since the scores are too lopsided, and the US has won every gold medal since the sport was introduced into the Olympic games, reason enough for some to kick it out — but bad timing, since today/yesterday Japan beat the US for the 2008 softball gold medal.Â
Ok, 13 events to boot from the summer Olympics.Â
1. Walking. Puhleeze. Have you ever seen anything so unnatural and so uncomfortable?Â
2. BMX.Â
3. Tennis. We already have international tournaments that duplicate the tennis matches, and it’s difficult to believe that now, this week, the players are playing for their countries and not for themselves.
4. Cricket. Well, if the British are planning to add cricket for the 2012 London games, let the Yak be the first to complain. (Cricket was in the 1900 Olympics.) (So was surf lifesaving, for that matter. But we get enough, too much, of the beach babes now in beach volleyball, which actually is a competitive event.) Once when I was in London I picked up the sports section of the London Times and read a story on the recent cricket matches. I literally could not understand anything it said. It’s absolutely un-American. Adding rugby? I could go for that. (Rugby was in the games of 1900, 1908, 1920, 1924.) Australian football? Close, but no.
5.  Artistic gymnastics. Ribbons? ‘nough said.
6. Rhythmic gymnastics.  This is dancercize, musical exercise routines transported from your local fitness center.
7. Synchronized springboard diving. Was this invented just to pad the Chinese medal count?
8. Synchronized platform diving. Was this invented just to pad the Chinese medal count?
9. Boxing. The scoring changes since the 1970’s have made boxing unwatchable. Back in the old days I actually paid to attend Olympic boxing live. Now I’m glad its on that other tv channel.
10. Dressage. (RYak will kill me for this.) The skills in dressage are wonderful, but they belong in the animal Olympics. This event should go the way of the once-popular chariot racing. Why not include polo, or horse diving? Rodeo sports? Besides, women compete equally against men in dressage, which proves it is not a competitive human sport.Â
11. Team handball. This is water polo for people who can’t swim, that is, with the hard part taken out.
12. Women’s weightlifting. I mean, the guts on the men are hard enough to stomach.
13. Field hockey. Maybe if you could play it standing straight up . . .
How about demonstration sports to add? Like, say, ballooning, mountain climbing, boules (French bowling), Nascar racing or hotdog eating?
Had enough of the Olympics? Before you leave, be sure to watch the best Olympics movie ever made, Chariots of Fire (1981), four Oscars, including Best Picture.