… No, I delete them, Spam-I-Am.
But since I’m in the mood, I thought I’d send a big, virtual raspberry in the direction of our latest spambot commenter, who (in light of our “no-words-you-wouldn’t-tell-MY-grandma” policy) I’ll simply refer to as “The Piano Man.” (With apologies to Billy Joel.)
Sing it with me…
Send me some spam, O Piano man, Send me more spam tonight, ’cause my inbox was feeling so lonely, and I need a topic to write….
Again…my apologies to Billy Joel.
This wasn’t the first one, and this isn’t the first time I’ve posted on the topic. Nor, in all likelihood, will it be the last. After all, I’m not just a member of the “Drag a Spammer Behind Your Chariot for Personal Amusement” club…I’m also the president.
In fact, I shall continue to flog this deceased equine until it ceases to amuse me – and I am very, very easily amused.
But seriously, does anyone really think that sending spambots into the ether will either promote traffic to their websites, increase their chances of selling that (insert adult product name here) or fool anyone at all into thinking their little piece of the blogosphere just acquired another mirror-fogging reader? I certainly hope not. Because not only do the words “I bookmarked your site. Very interest conversation. Good post!” not add anything constructive to the discussion (read: you not help make interest conversation. kthxbai.) but they also scream “CLICK THROUGH TO MY GRAND PIANO SITE WHICH REALLY CONTAINS SPYWARE THAT WILL ENABLE MY COLLEAGUES IN [INSERT RANDOM UNFRIENDLY BUT NON-EXTRADITING NATION] TO ENSLAVE YOUR COMPUTER AND USE IT TO STEAL SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS FROM ELDERLY WIDOWS AND KICK THE PUPPIES OF UNSUSPECTING CHILDREN.”
Or something like that.
So, from the bottom of my shaggy, grandma-saving, puppy-loving heart….
Go away.
Scram.
Git.
Begone.
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.
Please! “Your father smelt of elderberries.”
When referencing The Holy Canon, such things are (completely un-)important. ;-) (Some folks even transcribe “elderberries” as “eldeberries” and refuse to correct their typo, another (un)critical error, IMO)
BTW, I used this lil quote with a troll once (well, more often than once, but a specific time I’m thinking of), after adequately fisking his demonstration of idiocy. In the instance I’m thinking of, the guy quoted Wikipedia as a “source” to argue a particular point I made. I countered with a Merriam-Webster link refuting his subliterate Wikipedia article and then… taunted him a second time-a. (I generally appreciate it when trolls with no real store of knowedge of their own uncritically cite a Wikipedia article that’s easily fisked. Grist for the mill.)
But back to spammers. Oh, wait, I’d not yet addressed the principal content of your post so it’s not “back to spammers” at all, is it?
Spammers, when caught, shoulod be tarred and feathered and placed in stocks in a public arena. Rotten food and other waste and ordure should be made available to the public for their further decoration. THEN they should be given 200# cement shoes and taken on a long walk off a short pier.
But that’s just my “justice bone” exercising itself.
Comment by David — November 22, 2009 @ 10:29 am