The Random Yak

I’m sure this no longer qualifies as “news” – but Richard Danzig, a frontrunner in the race for National Security Advisor to a (hopefully mythological) Obama cabinet, has apparently cited Winnie the Pooh as “a fundamental text on foreign policy.”

When I first heard this, I hoped (desperately and without reservation) that this proved either a hoax or a bad idea, soon recognized and withdrawn.

On second thought, I realized Danzig’s choice of Winnie the Pooh probably provides a startlingly accurate picture of an Obama presidency. 

The Hundred-Acre Administration would be led by a Bear of Very Little Brain (and even less experience), for whom the sweet honey of his admirers’ affection and the approval of his army of Christopher Robins would provide not only a primary objective but the only one.

His choice advisors, from whom he could take valuable foreign policy advice, would include:

• A constantly terrified, xenophobic second-in-command whose own shadow creates cause for alarm – though not for action (at least, not beyond hiding beneath the nearest solid object).
• The hypercaffeinated jack-of-all-trades who, though gifted with the attention span of a gnat, nonetheless believes himself capable of solving any problem – despite the fact that all his other proposed solutions ended in unmitigated ruin.  (To the positive, the most wonderful thing about him is that he’s the only one with any real ideas at all.)
• A broken-tailed donkey who has to put up with the thumbtack provided by the universal health care system rather than the real, tail-securing operation available only under an administration that lets each individual opt for real medical attention rather than forcing acceptance of the lowest common denominator.
• An education advisor – universally considered the smartest of the bunch – who spells his own name “W-O-L”

For those who might have forgotten, highlights of Pooh’s brand of foreign policy include:

• Attempting to obtain honey from bees by painting himself black, grasping a balloon and attempting to masquerade as a cloud. (Read: if we stand still enough, maybe the terrorists won’t see us.)
• Getting himself stuck in Rabbit’s front door after eating too much at a dinner party.  (Translation: If you block the enemy’s front door, he won’t be able to get out and attack you!)
• Taking Eeyore a pot of honey and a balloon for his birthday, but after semi-accidentally eating the honey and popping the balloon on the way, attempting to convince the already-depressed donkey that the presents are better this way.  (Translation: banning gas for our cars, and global-warming-inducing red meat for our tables, then telling us we’re actually happier eating lettuce on foot…)

I could offer more, but I think I’ve proven my point.  Obama’s not running a dog-and-pony show, he’s offering a Hundred-Acre Administration.

And that’s truly scary – even to a yak of very little brain. 

Tip of the horns, Pirate’s Cove

Trackposted to Stuck On Stupid, The Virtuous Republic, third world county, Democrat=Socialist, Conservative Cat, and The World According to Carl, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.