In a story that sounds right out of a Schwarzenegger movie(ten points to anyone who actually understands the reference),Lifestyle Pets of Los Angeles, California has apparently “designed” (and trademarked) the ultimate domestic cat. A cross-breed of African Servals, Asian Leopard cats and (allegedly) domesticated felines, the fully-grown “Ashera” looks like its Serval ancestors and weighs in at an impressive 30 pounds (thoughego and attitude doubtless addsignificant weight).
The price you pay for a pet that can (and doubtless will) shredevery piece of furniture in your home? A mere $22,000.00 – though if youabsolutely, positively need one in thenext 6 months it’s going to cost you an additional $6k.
My thoughts on the matter? Heh. The Random Family already owns a Bengal (which, for the uninitiated, looks exactly like a miniature version of the Ashera in all ways – including the price tag), and although we initially thought ours was just “special” conversations with fellow Bengal bloggers suggest they’re highly likely to engage in behaviors one can only describe as “completely mental.” For example:
- Wailing at all hours of the day or night due to fear of the dark and being left alone.
- “Loving” holes in favorite comfortable socks, which rapidly become sparring partners when left unguarded. (Note: our Bengal has been observed removing said sparring partners from sock-and-underwear drawers and laundry baskets when no victims wereavailable on the floor.)
- Biting the noses of unsuspecting-and-sleeping family members who dared to sleep in past the appointed breakfast hour.
- Leaping to the dining room table in an attempt to secure possession of one or more insufficiently guarded steaks.
- Expressing displeasure and loneliness by peeing in inappropriate places at inconvenient times (on second thought … is there really a convenient time?)
- Hairballs. (’Nuff said.)
Now … our Bengal weighs 16 pounds. (Yeah, she’s fat. Which reminds me: add “accidentally fishtails into furniture and human beings when attempting to run” to the list.) Multiply by two, add the nerves and attitude of the Serval to those of the Asian Fishing Cat, and realize that you’ve just let a 30-pound “domesticated”Tasmanian Devilloose in the living room. If that isn’t chilling enough, permit me to remind you of The Rules As Cats Know Them:
- My opinions are law, and my law has no borders or statutes of limitation.
- Everything in this house belongs to me.
- You may call yourself my “owner” but you will do my bidding and you do not get a vote.
- If we disagree on any of the above, refer to Rule #1.
Cats are unable to enforce these rules for two primary reasons:they are small enough tobe picked up andlocked in a closet or carrier (though not always without injury)andthey have no opposable thumbs. Remove either of these barriers, however, and you’re asking for trouble. I don’t care how pretty it looks or how nice the manufacturer claims it will be …we’re stilltalking about a 30-pound tornado with an attitude problem.
I’ll admit it’s pretty, and as status symbols go the Ashera is right up there withthe Lamborghini … except that the Lambo doesn’tpee on the carpet when it gets lonely.
For the right owner in the right home, the Ashera may make a great companion. (Let me know how that works out for you.) As for me and my house, we’ll stick with the Economy Model.
Trackposted to Pirate’s Cove, Perri Nelson’s Website, Webloggin, third world county, and Conservative Cat, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
