14:50 PST, and I’m still facing the loss of my rich text editor. Blogging without it is like trying to make a functional automobile out of toothpicks and used chewing gum (without the foil wrappers). It can probably be done, but I’m not enjoying the process.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, my office printer just decided to explode.
If you’ve never seen a laser printer toner cartridge explode, consider yourself both lucky and a lot cleaner than I am at the moment.
One minute the thing is happily churning out important documents (read: the notes for the lecture I have to give in approximately 3 hours) and the next minute it makes a choking noise, hiccups twice, spits a piece of paper back out the feeder and groans in a way that bodes well for no yak. Upon further investigation I discovered that the alleged “paper jam” apparently caused the toner cartridge to suffer a midlife crisis (yes, it’s about halfway empty) and spew black powder all over the inside of the printer.
Wherein lies a tale.
You see, laser print toner isn’t like other forms of black powder. Oh, no. Made from the tiniest subatomic particles known to man, laser print toner masquerades as a particular substance of reasonable size … until liberated from its cartridge-style prison, at which point the toner degrades to its smallest possible level, rendering it impossible to fully clean up or remove. Although apparently dry and powdery in consistency, the toner particles become permanent black stains upon contact with skin, clothing or the forehead of a frustrated attorney. To say nothing of my lecture notes, which look to all intents and purposes like something retrieved from the bottom of a coal bin. (Yes, I reprinted them. No, it didn’t help.)
Hint to the wise: do not, under any circumstances, get frustrated and try to clean up spilled toner with a damp paper towel. Adding water merely transforms the toner from an infinitely frustrating but potentially removeable powdery substance to a permanent, enduring stain which refuses to budge when touched with cleaning supplies but somehow manages to stain everything of value with which it comes in contact (including documents printed long after you think you’ve managed to clean the obnoxious thing out).
On the other hand, I’ve spent the better part of my life in various states of “smudge” – and at least toner has no smell.
Monday…
Ask a Ninja: Mythbustin’ Out All Over Day by Day: Selling the New York Times IMAO: The Morale We SHOULD Be Undercutting Point Five: Hillary To Drop “Rodham” For Presidential Bid. Also “Clinton,” And “Hillary” Right Jokester: Genius Scrappleface…
Trackback by Conservative Cat — April 30, 2007 @ 6:39 pm
At least it wasn’t color. I had to clean up a HP Color Laserjet that suffered a similar fate, except something managed to crack every single toner container in the printer (it’s a four-color toner printer). To say the least, it was “mucking fessy”. But you want to know the great cleaner of this stuff? It’s the old airline stewardess’ solution.
Club soda! Works great for your clothing.
And to finish the job, take one of those Swiffer towels to the printer. Those towels generate a weak magnetic charge, not unlike the charge that is used to used to pull the toner to the corona wire on to your paper. Don’t try and apply a charge to the towel, though. That could get ugly and be a little dangerous. But if you’re dumb enough to try that one, you’re not smart enough to clean toner anyway. Or maybe I’m wrong, since it takes a bit of ingenuity just to apply a charge to the towel. So maybe you are smart enough.
Ah, forget it. Just use the towel to clean the printer, and use club soda to clean yourself. Or is it the other way around? Hmm….
Comment by stellanwick — May 5, 2007 @ 12:37 pm