The Random Yak

Today is official “Take Your Kids To Work Day” (aka “Stay Home Parents’ Get To Work Alone For Once Day,” aka “How the Other Half Lives Day,” aka “I Don’t Care What Billy Said, Get That Off The Photocopier Day”)

In honor of the occasion (and in recognition that it’s also Thursday), I’m offering the following:

Thursday 13 Lessons Learned From Taking Your Kids To Work

1. FedEx will not”deliver” the children home for you, even if you manage to get them to stay ina box. (Ditto delivery to the grandparents, the local elementary school or “Somewhere in Peru.”)

2. Pizzasticks tothe conference room wall. (And ice cream sticks to the ceiling.)

3.Clients will not believe your secretary writes in purple crayon, or that stick figures of a wobbly man shooting a bow and arrow at a decrepit dogrepresent a “design improvement” to their construction plans.

4. Just because you cannot fax a Spider-Man action figure to China doesn’t mean someone isn’t willing to try.

5. Never, ever leave a nine year-old alone with a photocopier. (With or without peer supervision.)

6. Silence is golden, but yelling gets results.

7. A five-year old instinctively knows the international dialing codes for Singapore, Malaysia and the Ivory Coast (and will use them at every opportunity).

8. Extra ties make goodheaddresses – and sharpies make excellent war-paint.

9. “Take your children to work day” is sponsored by the Coalition of Stay Home Parents Who Really, Really Think You Should Appreciate Them More And Aren’t Afraid to Prove It By Any Means Necessary.

10. Kids aren’t afraid to tell the bosshe smells funny.

11. The world’s best attorney ain’t got nothin’ on the negotiating skills of athree year-old in physical possession of an original, signed document.

12. You can’t buy love – but a $20 and a handful ofjellybeanswill get youfifteen fiveminutes of silence.

13. The worst wordyour childcan eversay while standing behind your back in your place of business is “oops.”

Linked to the Thursday 13 Hub and to Thursday 13s at Renaissance Blogger (13 Things I Want to Do Before I’m Called Home), The Median Sib (13 Quotes From American History), and Lil Duck Duck (13 Things on My Floor)