The Random Yak

CNN/Money.com has posted its annual list of the “100 Biggest Business Blunders” of the previous year.

It’s a high-workload/low creativity Thursday, so here are my 13 favorites (not in any order of preference):

1. Northwest Airlines issued its laid-off workers a list of “101 Ways to Save Money” -which apparently includedsuch popular options as dumpster diving and “taking long walks in the woods” as an alternative to more expensive dating options. (Way to go, Northwest – after all, why just takesomeone’s job when you can take their dignity along with it!)

2. Chevy Tahoe: proudly offering the new slogan: “Yesterday’s Technology Today!” (After all, nothing beats a Model-T)

3. It’s a Sony-Q! Errors in battery production lead to a variety of laptop computers spontaneously catching fire. Dell and others attempt to recall the faulty units, but not before many customers’ businesses literally go up in flames. (Laptop Foster, anyone?)

4. Following the Sony debacle, and always on the cutting edge ofconsumer safety issues, the U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission issues the following warning: “Do not use your computer on your lap.” (Where werethey when I needed to know my coffee was hot?)

5. While attempting to recover from Glorious Misunderstandings Created by Borat Movie, Kazakhstan prints a new series of currency notes -on which the central governmentmanages to misspell the word “bank.” (Well done…NOT!)

6. “It’s Not Bottled in Cleveland” (but you might wish it was…). In response to Fiji water’s commercial tagline, the city of Cleveland ran some tests on the expensive bottled water – tests which apparently revealed 6.3 micrograms of arsenic per liter. Levels of arsenic in Cleveland’s city water supply? 0.

7. 2 out of 3 Microsoft employees surveyed prefer Google to MSN for searching the Internet. (Just kinda fisks itself, doesn’t it?)

8. Welsh accuracy in action: a cease and desist letter from Powys County Council (Wales) demanded Black Mountains Smokery change the name of its popular “Black Dragon Sausage.” The reason? The product name is misleading…since there’s nodragon meat in the sausage. (Besides, everyone knows Welsh dragons are red.)

9. Today’s math lesson…brought to you by the U.S. Mint, which recently announced that the cost of producing a penny has increased to 1.73 cents. As if that isn’t bad enough, the mint spends 8.34 cents to produce each U.S. nickel – street value 5 cents. (And they say the government doesn’t give the taxpayers a deal on anything…)

10. Survivor: Federal Penal System. In a move not likely to make the hit reality show, original Survivor winner Richard Hatch receives 51 months in prison for tax evasion. (Obviously, Hatch lost the competition for that all-important “tax immunity totem”).

11. Two of thepioneers of the cryogenics movement were accidentally thawed following a malfunction in the freezer designated to keep them on ice until technology advanced enough to bring them back to life. (That one will send a chill up your spine…)

12. Hey Dude, where’s my plutonium? EnBW (a German Utility company) recently announced plans to “change the locks” following employees’ loss of the keys to the high-security areas of its nuclear energy plant. (Security? Aww, come on. What’s a little plutonium between friends?)

13. Move over, Northwest…someone actually managed to beat you at the “insensitive layoff” game. In this case, the culprit is Radio Shack, which fired400 employees by an e-mail informing them that work force reduction is in progress and “your position is one that has been eliminated.” (Note: extra negative points foruse of euphemism. Even Donald Trump actually tells you “You’re Fired.”)

The rest of the list can be found here, just in case you’re curious.

Trackposted to Pirate’s Cove, Perri Nelson’s Website, Dumb Ox Daily News, Conservative Cat, Right Truth, basil’s blog, and Pursuing Holiness, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.