The Random Yak

You know the “news” is running a wee bit conservative when – in an election month – the front page of the Coocoo News Network passes over stories relating to John Kerry’s alleged apology in favorof a piece by Willie Nelson telling us how much we can learn from horses.

The piece starts off by Nelson explaining that “With the upcoming Senate vote on the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act, Americans have a small window of opportunity to save a living legend.” (And here I didn’t even know Willie Nelson was in danger…)

The *cough* news story goes on to state that “Horses are all the things a truly evolved human should be.” (Hairy, fly-covered, walking on all fours…).

Let’s ponder that for a moment. Setting aside the whole ape…man….equine evolutionary theory (I knew Mr. Ed was the smart one in that pair!), let’s use our previous experience with horses to see precisely what it is a “truly evolved” human being should do:

1. If you’re not happy with someone, bite him. (Kicking works well too).

2. A derisive snort is the best response to delicate situations. (OK, well, that one I happen to agree with, but still…)

Nelson goes on to argue that the horse, not the eagle, should be the national symbol of the United States and protected against slaughter. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like horses, and I’m all for treating them in a humane and appropriate manner, as good stewards of the natural world God left in our care. But an article on slaughtering horses the week before a national election? You’d think CNN might be able to find bigger fish to fry.

Still,the article isn’t a total loss. AndNelson mayin fact gethis wish, or part of it. If the Republicans lose the Congress, the horse will indeed becomea representative symbol for the U.S. Government.

Well, halfthe horseanyway.