“On the fourteenth day of Resistance, the culture gave to me….

Tinsel for the tree-“

Some of you may have noticed I have a thing for tinsel.

There’s probably a good reason.

Actually, there are probably several, starting with my mother’s near-pathological dislike for the long, silver strands (I blame my Random Sibling’s inclination to eat it) and finishing with the fact that I now own several cats and have a near-pathological dislike for cleaning tinsel-laden cat vomit off the carpet (they never have the courtesy to puke on the tile where it’s easy to clean).

Somewhere between the sibling and the cats (all of whom, you may notice, suffer from similar character flaws) I developed a liking for tinsel. I don’t really like the way it looks all that much, and I certainly don’t enjoy cleaning it up at the end of the season (or more often – see “cats”). But I do like saying it and I … do … like …. throwing it.

While wandering my side of the mountain pondering this oddity (yes, I admit, I actually did ponder this), it occurred to me to Google search tinsel. (How did I live before Google…) Fascinating facts about tinsel below the fold…

Definition: (tip of the horns and apologies to Webster’s Online Dictionary) “Tinsel” (n) 1. a thread, strip, or sheet of metal, paper, or plastic used to produce a glittering and sparkling appearance in fabrics, yarns, or decorations (yep, that’s tinsel….) 2. something superficially attractive or glamorous but of little real worth (yep, that’s…wait a minute…moving on now-).

Public Service Announcement (for the metallically challenged): There is a website which teaches you how to buy tinsel. Instructions on “how to breathe and sleep at the same time” to follow shortly.

Tinsel is more than just limp, skinny metallic strings. It’s also:

1. Re-useable, twisting, pointed strings likely to make even the most relaxed maternal female cringe and call out “Quit that before someone loses an eye!” Sweet. Also comes in multicolored. Pity I don’t fancy having to take it all off the tree and re-package it for next year. On the bright side, this kind looks much harder for the cats to eat…

2. Tinsel Tassels in every color of the rainbow! Interesting, probably nice in flight – but the cat puke factor is off the scale.

3. Tinsel Wigs. I’m starting to get frightened.

4. Tinsel Halo. Yak the Younger had to wear one of these in a church Christmas pageant some years back. Whoever chose to cast the kindergarteners as angels needs to study up a little more on the nature of heavenly beings. Still, the photo of YtY and the Pastor’s son fighting for altar space while their halos fell down over their eyes is definitely up there on the “best shots of Christmas” list.

5. A tinsel triathlon? (No, it’s not flinging, hanging and cleaning up…)

6. Tinsel Curtains. Somehow, I know the Random Spouse isn’t going to go for this one. I won’t even ask.

Parting Shot: When tinsel attacks. (Took down a wireless network…next time they’ll think twice before tangling with those wiggly metal strands of Christmas frivolity).

Linking into the Conservative Cat. Ferdy, as always, knows funny. Check the posts at Daily Funnies for Wednesday.

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