Just in case you’ve been hiding under a rock lately…

Snakes on a Plane opens Friday, amid huge hypeand nosmall amount of confusion. And it’s not only the MSM that seems to be having trouble. I’ve discovered that a fairly large number of “people who take themselvesaltogether too seriously” are having difficulty relating to this cinematic tour de force(not to mention missingcertain recent references embedded in this and other blogs) so, as always, I thought I’d offer a little tutorial for those lagging slightly behind.

What followsis our in-house FAQ (doubtless the first of many)for Snakes on a Plane:

How on earth did you ever learn about this? And why would you care?

The filmcaught my attention more for its humorous, ironic qualities than because I anticipated anything in the nature of a plotline. That, and the fact that it offers perhaps the most perfectsingle-role casting in film history (a reference, of course, to cult-and-blockbuster-favorite Samuel L. Jackson in a role thatpromises multiple quotable lines – at least for those with slightly less-family-oriented blogs).

As it happens, I’m not the only one who noticed. Not surprising, when you consider this film has had arguably thebiggest movie hype in history (thanks in no small part to the blogging community) - andhasalready beenthe subject of more jokes, spoofs and ironic comments (my own included) than any other film in recent memory. And it hasn’t even been releasedyet.

Does anyone else even care?

A Google search for “Snakes on a Plane” brings up 21,800,000 results. Not bad for a film with no advance screenings.

Yes, but why snakes?

Because “Teddy Bears on a Plane” just didn’t have that scary ring they were looking for.

Why on earth do so many people want to see such a silly sounding film?

Lots of reasons.

First, it’s got Samuel L. Jackson – and if there’s anyone you want on the plane when the snakes come to get you, it’s Samuel L. Jackson. Preferably wielding a lightsaber – though I have it on good authority that there will be no lightsabers in this film. (There will, however, be snakes. Lots of snakes. On a plane.)

Second: Snakes. On a Plane. No doubt what this one’s about. No doubt what you can expect. (Snakes. Lots of snakes. On a plane.)

Third: The “airline film” genre – so popular during the 1970s and ’80s – took a sharp dive after 9/11, with good reason. Save for the occasional documentary, airplanes and airplane disasters have been pretty much subject non grata in the film industry as the nation (and much of Europe, where many American films are distributed in foreign release) gave the subject some much needed room. But people likethis kind of action films, and it was only a matter of time before someone decided to set another onein flight. Snakes on a Plane offersall the action – with none of the possibility that anyone will take it seriously. As Samuel L. Jackson’s character even says: “Remember all those scenarios we ran? Well, I’m smack dab in the middle of one we never even thought of.” With good reason. The Absurdity Quotient is through the roof. (Which, of course, is why I liked it.)

Fourth: Did I mention absurdity? SOAP isn’t just a return to the “airline film” genre – it’s also a throwback to even earlier films (Think “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” and “The Blob”) – films which offered up outrageous situations andplots that stretched our ability to suspend disbelief – and did so without taking themselves all that seriously. Think about it for a moment. Snakes. On. A. Plane. Brilliant.

Couldn’t they have put something else on the plane?

Yes, but “terrorists on a plane” had been done. So had “bomb on a plane,” “mercenaries on a plane” and “puerilelunacy on a plane” (I, II and III).

Couldn’t they have put the snakes on something else?

Sure, but “Snakes on a Bus”and “Snakes on a Train”were really short scripts. (Find snakes. Stop vehicle. Get off. Roll credits.)

How many snakes does it take to take over a plane?

I don’t know…but I know how many they’re going to use…

Isn’t this movie actually discriminatory against snakes? Don’t they have a bad enough reputation as it is?

Dude. It’s a movie. Lighten up. (Snakes! Snakes on a plane!)

How long are you going to milk this one with puns and embedded references on your blog?

How long am I going to milk the snakes? Until it’s no longer funny. To me. (Translation: Remember how long I beat this dead horse? Yeah. Longer than that.)

We hope this has answered all your questions.

Linked far and wide to Bloggin Outloud’s “Snakes on a Talking Point,”" Snakes on a Fair Tax Blogburst” at Third World County, “The Modern Rules of Engaging Snakes on a Plane”at Blue Star Chronicles, the “Midweek Snakes on a Trackback Post” at Stuck on Stupid, “A Clean Desk – Except for the Snakes” at Pursuing Holinessand Oxidental Musings (aka “Snakes on a Brain”) at Dumb Ox News.

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