The Random Yak

Thursday Thirteen: True But Strange Excuses I Never Used

Filed under: Yaks of the Week — Random Yak @ 1:47 pm on August 3, 2006

This week: The Thirteen best improbable (but actually true) excuses I’ve ever refused to use. Sometimes it seems as if circumstances conspire against us, preventing us from meeting a deadline or achieving a necessary goal through situations too odd to mention.

Truth is stranger than fiction – and I’ve got the circumstances to prove it. Here is my list of Thirteen True – but Improbably Strange – legitimate excuses I could have used, butcould never bring myself tomention in public:

1. A tortoise crawled into my computer and scratched the motherboard. (Bluescreening the machine and deletingan importantwork in progress. Yes, it actually happened and yes, I had the outer case open – proving my geek status once and for all.)

2. My editor spilled coffee on it. (Ruined several chapters in the process – and this was back in the days of typewriters. Sad, but true.)

3. The parrot thought it was a snake – andchewed it up. (Parrots hate snakes. On or off planes.)

4. My toddler hid it in his diaper. (Don’t ask, you really don’t want to know.)

5. A falcon carried it off. (This excuse actually belongs to my father, not to me, but it’s genuine and verifiable).

6. I accidentally dropped it in an aquarium.

7. I threw it away, and the dog pulled it out of the garbage and chewed it up before I could retrieve it. (Good old Chips. Half dog, half garbage disposal, all trash-can-tipper.)

8. The police moved it while they were searching the house. (Absolutely true. Happened in high school. They didn’t find anything wrong, though they did leave a few things out of place.)

9.Both back-up lights went out at the same time, and then aharness blew out and I couldn’t put the car in reverse so I couldn’t get out of the parking lot in time to get there. (Yeah – and that’s the short version.)

10. A horse licked it.

11. Because I stepped on a rosebush, barefoot. (OK, this one I actually did use, in respnose to the question “HOW did the porch get so much blood all over it.”).

12. The microwave set it on fire. (Potential – but unusedand probablyunnecessaryresponse to: how did this get burned and why is thehouse full of smoke?)

13. Idropped a fishbowl on it. (Response to: “How did you manage to break a hole in the bathroom sink?” I was eight. The sink was heavy porcelain. And somehow the fishbowl escaped unharmed.)

Linked to others participating in the Thursday Thirteen at:

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The European market adopted chop tomahawk braves ringtone Party Pays” model throughout the GSM environment and soon various other GSM markets also started to emulate this model.

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The first-generation systems started in 1979 with Japan, are all analog and include AMPS and NMT.

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With third generation (3G) networks, which are also known as IMT-2000 networks, about three out of four networks are on the wwe rock ringtone (also known as UMTS) standard, usually seen as the natural evolution path for GSM and TDMA networks.

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As vader ringtones darth moves around the network, the mobile device will “handoff” to various cell sites during calls, or while waiting (idle) between calls it will reselect cell sites.

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In corp ringtones free marine hymn in 2000 it was claimed that recordings of corp ringtones free marine hymn conversations made on the day of the Omagh bombing were crucial to the police investigation.

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The total value of mobile data services exceeds ringtone man iron of paid services on the Internet, and was worth 31 billion dollars in 2006 (source Informa).

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The total value of mobile data services exceeds ringtone boony of paid services on the Internet, and was worth 31 billion dollars in 2006 (source Informa).


  1. These are funny! I’m afraid that I’ll have #4 happen any day now ;). Thanks for linking!

    Comment by MamaDuck — August 3, 2006 @ 2:10 pm

  2. Microwave. Was it a … Poodle?

    Comment by Lyn — August 3, 2006 @ 2:17 pm

  3. I am going to use these. I’ll test them out and let you know how they work! He he he parrots.

    Comment by Dane Bramage — August 3, 2006 @ 8:58 pm

  4. Oh and I am stealing this idea and using it next week (or a variation there of)

    Comment by Dane Bramage — August 3, 2006 @ 9:11 pm

  5. Glad to be of assistance – and I never mind anyone picking up the ideas. Heaven knows at least half of my best ones come from things I see others do…

    And no, Lyn. I couldn’t actually get the microwave door closed on the poodle, so I had to resort to smaller objects.

    Comment by Random Yak — August 4, 2006 @ 1:55 pm

  6. This is a great list! Very funny. And thanks for stopping by my site!

    (I’m sorry it took me so long to comment. I was here before, but didn’t understand the login.)

    Comment by Pass the Torch — August 5, 2006 @ 5:43 am

  7. No worries, our login seems to confound people sometimes. I’m not sure why but at least you made it through the gauntlet. Welcome and thanks for stopping by.

    Comment by Random Yak — August 6, 2006 @ 11:44 pm

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