The Random Yak

Sheik Obama Acts Like a Muslim

Filed under: Just Yaks — Maniyak @ 11:51 am on March 16, 2014

I do not know whether President Barack Obama is a closet Muslim, but anyone can see that he governs like one. Muslims believe in and practice extremely strong centralized government with dictatorial powers in the King, Sheik, Emir or other Chief Executive. Laws are made to control the masses, in their judgment, but the elite leadership live above the laws (even above their sacred sharia) and do as they please. Clearly it is an embarrassment to Barack Obama that he is a mere “President,” that is, the leader of a collegial body of elected officials overseeing a self-governing people, under their Constitution. Obama ignores and disrespects the Constitution, and leads his officials to act likewise, because he believes that he is above the law. His personal ideology and idiosyncrasies, expressed through his “pen and cell phone”  in the form of executive orders (many of which are illegal and unconstitutional) , are, to him, the real sources of law. What he learned teaching constitutional law is that the President can act above the law with impunity. The courts will protect him from lawsuits, and the Democrats will never let him be impreached, so he bypasses and stonewalls Congress — that is, the legislators actually elected by the people to make the laws — and praises himself for being pro-active. “Tyrant” sounds so crude (but, Barack thinks, “Actually, I like the word; it’s so me”).  The only remedy is to prosecute him once he is out of office, which will feel good but will not correct the damage he has done to the rule of law and the respect for American government, here and abroad.

As for being an actual Muslim, who knows. Islam mandates the practice of deception among non-believers, non-Muslims. It the doctrine of taqiya. So, if Barack Obama is a true Muslim, the clearest evidence would be that he would deny it and claim to be a Christian, which is what he says. That’s what happens when Islam makes deception a virtue; no one can believe anything anyone says. The polls show that the American public does not believe what Barack Obama says, so should we infer from that perception that he is a good, deceptive Muslim, or just an ordinary lying, self-aggrandizing public official?

Parenting, Fails

Filed under: Just Yaks — Maniyak @ 9:35 am on March 13, 2014

You heard about Rachel Canning, the New Jersey 18-year-old (read, legal “adult”) who is suing her parents to continue to pay child support to her so that she can maintain her adolescent lifestyle in college, at her parents’ expense? She’s moved back home to live in closer codependency with the dad and mom she has publicly maligned in her lawsuit, which she is still prosecuting. Rachel has demonstrated, however, that she is qualified for one gig, posing as the poster child for birth control. The news stories call her an “Honor Student,” but that manifestly does not include “Honor your father and mother” (Bible, Exodus 20.12). Parenting fail.

Rachel’s story reminded me of a recent report I heard on National Public Radio (if I recall correctly) of another young woman, whose parents agreed to pay for her college tuition, room and board if she would major in some field that would qualify her for a good-paying job after graduation, like computer programming. The story was that she decided that she did not want to study computer programming and so told her parents that she would borrow the money for college so that she could study something else. Maybe it wasn’t as vacuous and nonremunerative as art history, but something like that. The slant of the story was to praise her for doing what she believed to be right for her, despite her parents’ direction, and to report approvingly that her parents, seeing her courage and commitment, agreed to pay for her college anyway, with the major of her choice. My take was different. Her parents were not persuaded that she had developed insight and a positive sense of personal direction for her life. No, they realized with painful regret that they had failed to instill in her an understanding of the necessity to prepare for real life with real earning skills for a successful career, and they caved. They agreed to pay for her college education despite the fact that they knew that they would be paying for her for the rest of their lives,  but if they refused to pay for college for her they would fracture their relationship with her (and their potential grandchildren) forever. Parenting fail.

A Moose Once Bit My Sister…*

Filed under: Frivol — Random Yak @ 8:44 am on June 25, 2010

but I saved her using my L33T World of Warcraft skillz.

There might be a bigger Gamer-Geek Tale of Awesome in the world today, but I don’t think so.

The link in a nutshell:  12 year-old Norwegian boy, out for walk in woods with sister, encounters angry moose.  (Note: moose are dangerous. They will actually try to kill you.) When the moose attacks, the boy remembers from Warcraft that a tank “taunts” to get the monster off weaker party members.  He does so (though I’m not exactly sure how he pulled it off) and when his sister runs away, Norwegian Tank Boy does what any good hunter does when danger rears its massive, shaggy head…

…he feigns death.

At which point the moose loses interest and leaves.  Making Hans Jørgen Olsen one of the few hunters I know who can also tank properly.  Nicely done, Hans.

*We apologize for the continuing movie references in the titles.  Those responsible have been sacked(queue the llamas).

Unicorn 1, Pork 0 (or “Why the Geek Always Wins”)

Filed under: Frivol — Random Yak @ 3:46 pm on June 21, 2010

I had four entries lined up this morning, ready to run for today’s posting slot, but (as occasionally happens) a late entry beats them all hands down.


Because any time you get to poke BigLaw in the eye, you take the shot, and when someone else does it for you (complete with rainbows and sparkles) you better get in line to take the laugh.  In this case, it’s a long, long line.

On April Fool’s Day, ThinkGeek (one of the best websites in the known universe) posted an ad for the following “new product” offer:

The ad bore the slogan, “Unicorn: the New White Meat.”

In itself, awesome and worthy of note.

Then, on May 5, ThinkGeek received a cease and desist letter from none other than….the U.S. National Pork Board, claiming that “Unicorn: the new white meat” infringed its trademarked slogan, “The Other White Meat.” (ThinkGeek posted the first page of the letter here.)

Now, even ignoring the fact that the Pork Board recently stated its intention to stop using the Other White Meat slogan in favor of an updated and more interesting alternative (as reported by Slashfood, and also on the ThinkGeek blog) and assuming that the Pork Board’s legal counsel had honorable intentions to protect its client’s intellectual property, the noble, high-minded village idiots attorneys at [firm-name-deleted-to-protect-the-bottom-dwelling-though-you-can-find-it-at-the-link-above] might have wanted to take a couple of things into account before popping off with an angry growler of a cease and desist letter.  Things like:

1.  This might be an April Fool’s Day prank.

2.  This might be an April Fool’s Day prank.


3.  Unicorn isn’t really a sustainable meat, so the slogan won’t be around all that long anyway.

In the attorneys’ defense, I can certainly understand their concern.  Lots of people have a hard time distinguishing unicorns from pigs, particularly in a legal environment, where those who oink the loudest often seem to believe they poop rainbows.

Tuesday Frivol: In Yer Pantry, Eaten Yer Chee-Tos.

Filed under: Frivol — Random Yak @ 10:47 am on June 1, 2010

In a story which reached publication only because it enabled the author to use the phrase “Sony Makes Cats Tweet(and yes, I’m admittedly green with envy that someone else got there first), Asia’s TechOn news reports that Sony  – whose new slogan really should be “Making the Unnecessary Ubiquitous and Almost Affordable Since 2001″ – has developed a wearable lifeblogging device for cats.

Let’s repeat that, in case you weren’t listening:

Sony has produced a device that lets cats blog.

Well, almost.  It literally makes them Tweet.  The device contains sensors which “deduce” the cat’s behavior based on movement and timing, translates those deductions into one of 11 fixed phrases … and automatically posts them to Twitter.  To the cat’s twitter feed.

This is wrong on so many levels, it’s hard to know where to begin.  For a change, let’s go with the easy one:  I don’t want my cat to Twitter because I don’t want something without opposable thumbs having more followers than me. And since I don’t use Twitter…that would be easily done.  From there, it’s a fast and slippery slope to places we absolutely, positively, don’t want to get to.  Even if the device is correct that “meals taste better after a walk” – and that the cat is, in fact, enjoying a meal after taking a bit of an afternoon stroll, I don’t want to know.

Unfortunately, I’m guessing most Twits (which, as David of TWC tells me, is the correct nomenclature for “persons who use twitter”) do.

The device does have serious limitations, however.  Any cat owner can tell you that cats have far more than 11 thoughts romping through their monstrously devious heads.  Clearly, “TwitterCat 2.0″ will need a few more phrasing possibilities.  Permit me to suggest a few popular ones, based on my own cats’ behavior:

1.  “The human won’t give me a Frito.  Come quickly and help me shred his ankles until compliance is achieved.”

2. “Don’t bother me, I’m sleeping.”

3.  “Open the fridge, mortal.  Open it now.”

4. “Don’t bother me, I’m sleeping.”

5.  “If he doesn’t come home with cat treats, I’m eating his socks again.”

6.  “What part of ‘nap time’ do you not understand?”

7.  “Squirrel!”

8.  “I find your lack of treats disturbing.”

9.  “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

10.  “Toilet water tastes much better than water from the little bowl on the floor.  Want some?”

On the other hand, none of these may be necessary.  The minute you tell a cat he’s “tweeting,” he’s likely to do what any self-respecting being would do if forced to twitter against its will.

He’ll give you back the bird.

Wednesday Frivol: Haunted Household

Filed under: Frivol — Random Yak @ 11:04 am on May 26, 2010

See below for a new one from me, click through here (to the Gray Lady, of all places…yeah, I need a chemical shower just for posting the link) to one of the best, and funniest, photo essays I’ve seen in a long time.

Need an example?

Yarr! There be gremlins under the bed!

Yarr! There be gremlins under the bed!

Christoph Niemann’s piece, “Haunted Household,” not only discussed the various grues and gremlins that wander through my days, he manages to get them on film.  A little bit of awesome in your Wednesday, I promise.

Off Kilter in Canada

Filed under: Just Yaks — Random Yak @ 1:41 pm on May 24, 2010

A Canadian teen who wanted to wear a kilt to his High School graduation ceremony found himself a bit off-kilter after the school principal rejected his proposed attire.

Hamish Jacobs’ family emigrated to Canada from Scotland in 1965.  In recognition of his Scottish roots, he planned to borrow an uncle’s kilt and wear the family tartan to his High School graduation.  The apparently polite and obedient Jacobs asked the school Principal’s permission to wear the kilt, but was denied.

According to the linked story, Jacobs had a genuine desire to wear the kilt (which, incidentally, is still appropriate male attire at formal functions in parts of Scotland) to honor his ancestry and upbringing – which, apparently, had a substantial Scottish influence.  His family was proud of the decision.  The school was not.

I can understand a school implementing a dress code for graduation, and forbidding students to wear clothing that would disrupt what should be a solemn and important day.  That said, if the school isn’t requiring a uniform (and if it was, nothing in the article said so) and refused solely because the kilt isn’t pants (which I suspect) then the Principal called this one incorrectly.  If students are permitted to select their own graduation attire, they should be allowed to make choices which (within appropriate bounds) reflect their heritage and their personalities.

Yes, this may require a little more supervision on the part of adults-in-charge, but if the school doesn’t want to take the time, there’s always the good old cap and gown (which I suspect has reached such favor in the United States partly because it does eliminate the dress issue altogether) or a similar uniform requirement.

Don’t even try to tell me that allowing a kilt would “require” the district to grant every special request, either.  This isn’t even close to “allowing boys to wear dresses” for reasons too numerous to mention.  In the end, it boils down to “do you have a legitimate reason to ask to wear this item of clothing, which for the record is accepted male dress in your family’s country of origin” – and in Jacobs’ case, the answer is yes.  I wouldn’t expect the school to forbid a Sikh to leave his turban home or a Muslim girl to uncover her head.  Yes, the difference there is religion, and not just culture or heritage, but if a student wants to memorialize an important day with a reasonably pertinent nod to the parents who got him (or her) to graduation day, I say let them do it.

Besides … he ate haggis, for crying out loud.  The boy deserves some recognition.

In Honor of Children’s Book Week

Filed under: Frivol — Random Yak @ 11:44 am on May 10, 2010

(May 10-17, 2010)

A few long-forgotten favorites that came to mind this week (for unusual reasons I’ll disclose in the parentheticals):

1.  Animals Should Definitely Not Wear Clothing – Judi and Ron Barrett.  If you haven’t read this one, and you have small kids, it’s a must.  The porcupine in the flowered dress on the cover pretty much says it all.  I read this until it literally fell apart…and then some.  (Came back to mind when Fat Lily the Cat tried to hide under a blanket.  Unfortunately for her, she also thinks “if my head is hidden no one can see the outrageously large other end – which probably needs backup beepers or a flag to comply with local ordinances regarding the movement of large objects.”)

2.  Sylvester and the Magic Pebble – William Steig.  Taught me Important Life Lesson #32: “When in the presence of magic objects, it is inadvisable to wish you were a rock.” and its corollary, 32(a): “Probably best just not to wish you were a rock at all.”  (Blame the pastor for this one coming to mind.  He had the ushers pass out rocks at the start of service on Sunday, without explaining their intended purpose.  After I recovered from the initial disappointment of learning we weren’t actually bringing back stoning (probably due to a lack of volunteers)…my next thought was in the “magic pebble” vein).)

There are many, MANY others I’d recommend, but those are the ones floating around in my mind lately.

A New Thing: Weekend Assignment

Filed under: Random Weekend Assignments — Random Yak @ 12:43 pm on May 7, 2010

Many years ago, sci-fi writer and blogger John Scalzi (with whom I share certain interests, if not a worldview) initiated a writing prompt known as the Weekend Assignment.  More recently, a pair known as “Karen and Carly” have taken up the mantle, and for want of something better to do with a Friday afternoon, I’ve decided to stop lurking and start playing along.

This weekend’s assignment:  A discussion of the change in social patterns, and a response relating to “where [insert name here] does the most off-or-after hours socializing.”  For extra credit: “Do you hang out with your co-workers after hours.”

As it happens, my response probably makes a strong argument for the Internet’s power to shift social patterns.  Most of what I’d call my “pure social interaction” time takes place in one of two places:  (a) at Church on Sundays, or (b) online, during the week, via either Ventrilo or World of Warcraft.  The latter seriously outweighs the former in terms of total hours spent.

In other words … Yes, I’m a geek.

In my own partial defense, most of my friends live in places too far away to easily get together any other way.  Free, online chat options like Ventrilo (one of the more popular with gamers, though by no means the only one) have largely replaced the telephone, at least for me, when it comes to social interaction.  Vent in particular has the added benefit of hosted “rooms” where multiple people can take part in the conversation, making it much more like a group get-together than a limited two-way telephone call.

Combining Vent with online gaming, like World of Warcraft, essentially offers a modern take on the old poker night.  10-to-25 people, meeting up to play online for a few hours while simultaneously chatting it up via headset.  It’s the same kind of smack-talking round table you’d see at a poker game (or in some  other guilds’ cases, a locker room) but everyone plays from the relative comfort of his-or-her mom’s basement.  (Yeah, that last bit might have been a joke.  Maybe.)

For those of us who live in different states, or those with small children who go to bed early, I’ve found Vent+WoW to be a pretty ideal situation.  Babysitters are expensive, and leaving one spouse at home with the kids while the other romps happily through the underbrush tends to reduce “Spouse Faction” far below the point at which you’d actually like to come home.

Ironically, I’d say virtual gaming and communication has actually increased my social activity significantly.  We still enjoy getting together with friends when we can – and do with some regularity – but the reality of modern life is that the old cocktail party is largely becoming a thing of the past.  Real people just don’t have the time, funds or energy to get together the way they used to, and when the reality is that your good friends are scattered over half the country, cocktail parties just don’t fly.  (Unless everyone else does, and let’s be honest, my spare room isn’t that big.) But vent does.  Along with anyone who’s done enough quests to hatch a proto-drake.

As an additional bonus, The Random Spouse and Yak the Younger also play, which means it’s a family affair…and before you lambast me for my digital proclivities, ask yourself how many fourteen year olds voluntarily spend time hanging out with their parents and thinking their parents are cool…and then quietly admit to yourself that I win this round.

Extra Credit:  Yes.  But in my case, my co-worker (singular, as I see it) also happens to be a good friend, and was before the current work situation arose, so the question doesn’t  really say anything special about my preferences.

Call me Ishmael

Filed under: Faith Yak — Random Yak @ 10:41 am on May 5, 2010

In this case, literally.

The Bible recounts the life of a young man named Joseph, who had an impressive pair of dreams at the age of 15 or 16.  In the dreams, sheaves of grain and stars representing his older brothers (as well as the sun and moon, representing his parents) bowed before him, signaling that in the future he would rise to more importance than the rest of his family.

As usually happens, this news didn’t go over well with the rest of Joseph’s family.  His brothers first thought to kill him, but settled for selling him into slavery.  (After all, why commit a mortal sin when you can commit a lesser sin and turn a profit in the process!) Joseph spent the next 15 years of his life (give or take) as a slave and a prisoner – all of it under circumstances which made it less than likely, by worldly standards, that his dreams were anything but the fantasies of a youthful mind.

Until, in prison, Pharaoh’s servants had dreams, which God enabled Joseph to interpret – and some time later, the dreams came true.  Even then, Joseph remained in prison (though perhaps with a renewed hope that his interpretation of his original dreams might not have been mistaken).  But then, the year Joseph turned 30, Pharaoh himself had a pair of dreams that nobody could understand.  Nobody but Joseph, who was called from prison to tell Pharaoh what he knew.  Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh, but as a result of the interpretation God allowed Joseph to give, and Pharaoh’s gratitude for the enlightenment, Joseph became the second most powerful man in Egypt – then the most powerful nation in the world.

Joseph’s dreams came true.  (Literally, if you read the rest of the story…but I’ll refer you to Genesis 40 et seq and let you read it for yourself.) And he had to wait a very, very long time for it to happen.

I have often wondered how Joseph managed through the dark days (and months, and years) when it seemed almost impossible for God’s promises to come to pass.  I imagine him standing in a prison cell, staring at the stars, praying and reminding himself that nothing – nothing – is impossible with God, no matter what the world says or thinks about it.  I consider how the people around him must have laughed at his faith, or dismissed it with shaking heads.  Joseph, you fool.  You’re a prisoner and a slave.  The only things bowing down to you are the sheaves of wheat your scythe cuts down.

But Joseph knew what God had told him, and he never lost faith that God was true.

Recently, I prayed a very serious prayer about some things I know to be true, as clearly as Joseph knew the interpretation of his dreams (and not much less impossible, if looked at by the world).  Like Joseph, I am waiting and trying to remain obedient and faithful until they come to pass.  Like Joseph, the years are passing, and like Joseph, I have reached the point where faith and patience are a matter of choice.  My faith is not weakened by the passage of time, but at some point we must decide whether or not we still believe our understanding is correct.  I have made that choice.  I still believe.

But last week I began to pray about these things I know to be true, and asked – if it wasn’t inappropriate, or too much trouble, or outside the rest of the Master Plan – if I could have some reassurance, some indication that I had in fact understood these things correctly, and that God had heard my prayers.  If it wasn’t too much trouble.  Some kind of little sign.

Every night for a week, I prayed this prayer.  I prayed it in confidence, knowing that I would continue to believe even if I didn’t receive a sign, but also knowing that the Bible tells us to place everything before God in prayer, because he cares for us.

This morning, the sign came, in an unexpected and dramatic form.  I received news that another prayer – one I now confess I prayed more from diligence than from belief that my words would make a difference (though I truly wanted them to make a difference, and hoped they would, I just considered the matter very, very difficult to achieve) – was granted, in a fashion that was nothing short of miraculous.

When I heard the news, I almost fell out of my chair.

I can’t tell you the exact nature of the proof at this time – that story isn’t mine to tell.  I can’t tell you – yet – the deeper things that prompted the prayers in the first place, though in time I may not have to.  Like Joseph’s dreams, they will be evident to all who know me when they actually come to pass.

But I would shirk my duty if I didn’t post to confess the truth I learned again this morning, in a form much more dramatic than I ever expected to see.

God is there.  He is listening, and when you speak, He hears you.  I will not hate you if you don’t believe that as I do, but if you don’t I offer you this challenge:  Try.  Sit down tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day, and say an honest prayer to the God who answered the prayers of the Yak – the Creator God of the Universe.  Ask Him to prove to you that He exists, and that he’s heard your prayer.  Don’t ask it as a challenge, or a dare.  Ask it from an honest wish to know if I spoke the truth.

He’s already promised He will answer.  Try it and see.

More Really Cool Stuff I Didn’t Have as a Kid

Filed under: Just Yaks — Random Yak @ 11:13 am on May 4, 2010

Not that I’m complaining, mind.  I had a pretty good childhood, all things considered, and my parents did let me paint the interior walls of my walk-in closet when I was in junior high school.  (And I mean painted as in scenes of dragons and other mythical beasts, in acrylics, not ‘grab a roller and paint one color on the wall’) Which, I must confess, was both really cool and typical of the way they liked to give me the freedom to express myself in reasonable and creative ways (which probably contributed to an overall increase in the Power of the Snark but also increased control over its outbursts).

That said: this connect-the-dots wallpaper almost makes me wish I had a child young enough to buy it for.


But not quite.

Still, I’d put it in the category of something I’d totally approve-of-and-encourage-friends-to-do.  At least with children old enough to know the difference between “walls I can draw on” and “things that change the color of my bottom.”  (Statistically, 92% of you got that last reference.  The others don’t have kids.)

Sometimes, Even I Have to Wonder

Filed under: Personal Pinatas of Fisk — Random Yak @ 11:08 am on

Cleaning out the lint trap spam filter this morning, I came across something I had to read twice.  Then I read it a third time, just to be sure.  The spam “comment” link, which somehow attached itself to yesterday’s “put the candy bar down and step away slowly” entry, linked to a hunting website – and did so under the heading, “Taxidermy: How to Stuff a Giraffe.”

Let’s all sit still for a moment and let that idea sink in.

OK, discuss.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I didn’t realize this had become a problem.  I knew everyone had a baby kangaroo (yours is pink but mine is blue) but the growing “what to do with the dead giraffe in the corner” issue completely escaped me.  I admit I’m not all that observant, so I must have overlooked it.

After all, it’s a giraffe, not an 800-lb gorilla.

But while we’re on the subject – anyone know how to stuff one of those?

Put Down the Candy Bar and Step Away Slowly.

Filed under: Just Yaks,Yak Rants — Random Yak @ 1:47 pm on May 3, 2010

(On a tip of the horns to Slashfood:)

Legislators in Louisiana have rejected a pair of proposed bills that would have regulated “healthy” versus “unhealthy” foods and banned Louisiana residents participating in state food stamp-type programs (the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) from using state assistance funds to purchase “unhealthy” foods.

Thank you, Louisiana, for taking an important stand on individual freedom and against the nanny-state ideology.

I understand that people don’t always make good choices about what to put in their bodies.  Or on their bodies.  Or around their bodies.  In fact, people make astonishingly poor choices every day, in such large numbers that it’s something of a miracle the human race hasn’t humiliated and eaten itself into oblivion. That said, one of the fundamental notions upon which the United States was founded was the idea that each person has the right to eat, sleep, think and work as he or she sees fit (with reasonable exceptions necessary to maintain public order and prevent literal suicidal/homicidal/maniacal tendencies).

In shorter words: if I want to stuff myself with M&Ms, french fries and root beer, in the comfort and privacy of my own home, that’s my right as a free, adult citizen of these United States.  If you don’t like it, shove off, skippy.

Now, I’m not saying these choices come without consequences.  If I do elect to maintain myself on nothing but sugar, peanut butter and booze, my health will probably suffer.  And yes, as the Louisiana legislator responsible for the bill pointed out, to the extent the state is responsible for my medical care, the state pays the penalty for my lack of foresight and/or common sense.

Wherein lies the real solution to the problem. (more…)

One Good Thing: Not Attacking Myself in Public.

Filed under: Frivol,Just Yaks,One Good Thing — Random Yak @ 11:25 am on April 23, 2010

(Another good thing: not losing to myself in public…)

Today’s Random Thought/One Good Thing brought to you by: the two-headed bobtail lizard of Australia.

Once again, BBC News has published the glorious truth that nothing of note goes on in the UK of a Friday.  Or anywhere else in the world, apparently.  “The Big Picture” of The World as We Know it boils down to this: sometimes the bobtail lizard has babies with two heads.  And sometimes those heads don’t like one another very much.

The twoheaded bobtail (a variety of skink – which might explain the negative attitude, since skinks are notoriously bad-tempered) was “rescued” by a reptile park (U.S. English, read “zoo-like place where animals live in captivity”) in Perth, Australia.  The heads share control of the creature’s back legs, but seem to have completely separate brains.  The larger head also seems less than fond of its conjoined twin, and has attacked it from time to time.  Probably for waking it up for bathroom visits in the middle of the night.  (I told you…no coffee after nine!) Or something.

So if today’s not going well for you, and you’re looking forward to 5:00 because nothing else seems to be going your way, take a moment and ponder the fact that you’re not a short-lived, two-headed skink attached for life to half a creature that wants to kill you just because it finds your potty habits inconvenient.  Makes the rest of it seem a little brighter, no?

Time-Waster Thursday: Hatetris

Filed under: Frivol,Time Waster Wednesday — Random Yak @ 12:21 pm on April 22, 2010

To everyone who’s ever caused me lost sleep, lost peace or lost time:

Here’s your payback.


Like tetris, but now it’s personal.  Instead of handing you pieces at random, the Hatetris AI evaluates all your options, and gives you the statistical worst-case-scenario…EVERY TIME.  (Remember how you always thought the tetris AI withheld blocks just when you needed them most?  Now it really does.) In other words…if you try to stack up the left side while you wait for that stick to drop and fill the hole on the right…it literally never will.  Why? Because unlike Tetris, which you only thought wanted you to fail, Hatetris does want you to fail.  In fact, it’s designed to ensure that eventually (and usually sooner rather than later) you will.

Ask not for whom the failboat sails.  It sails for thee.

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