Please join me in blowing a collective virtual raspberry at Gavin Newsom and the city of San Francisco, in editorial response to the new city policy banning Coca-Cola and other sweetened beverages from vending machines on city property.
This latest in a long line of nanny-state prohibitions replaces high-test colas, sweetened waters and juices which contain less than 100% (read: unsweetened) juice with such nutritionally responsible alternatives as soy milk, rice milk, and “other similar dairy and non-dairy milk.”
BLEAHRGH.
Mayor Newsom’s spokesperson, Obviousman Tony Winnicker stated that “there’s a direct link between what people eat and drink and obesity.” (Thanks for that…from all those still needing help with difficult concepts like ‘water is wet’ and ‘make sure the mace can is pointing at someone else before you depress the trigger’.) The ban on sugary drinks is intended to help encourage healthier habits among the residents of San Francisco. In reality, I’m guessing all it does is lower the (probably limited) revenues the city receives from its vending machines.
Other proposed legislation would impose a tax (or “fee”) on retailers who choose to sell sugary sodas, in an effort to discourage soda sales. Although the Newsom administration claims people are still free “to choose to drink unhealthy sugary sodas,” one might reasonably wonder how long that freedom will continue, at least without serious penalties.
I can understand regulating firearms. Or fireworks. Or hand grenades. Or a variety of other items and objects people use to cause mayhem and destruction. I can even understand a certain number of regulations intended to prevent people from hurting themselves or others. But taking away soda? Seriously? One would think, in a morally bankrupt state like California, our elected officials might find something more productive to waste their substantially overpaid work hours on.
Like teaching our children to spell soda. And “tax.” And “unreasonably restrictive government regulations.” (OK, it is the public school system. I guess that last one might be a stretch. But “@*&%$#*&^ deal” is banned by my site regulations.)
Seriously, guys. Next time I go to San Francisco, I’m taking a 12-pack of Cokes in the trunk, and I’m handing them out to every homeless person I see. Along with a fiver, so they can buy some Twinkies to go with it.
Hear me, Newsom, and all the others like him: You can have this Coke when you pry it from my cold, dead hand, and not a moment before. Feel free to come and find me if you’d like to make something of it. I’ll keep some soy milk in the fridge for you.*
* Note: My new refrigerator has informed me (in excellent, grammatical Japanese) that soy milk is disgusting and beyond what I’m entitled to ask of any reasonable appliance. I’ll put some ice water on tap for you instead.
