The Random Yak

One Good Thing: Someone Else to Eat the Sardines

Filed under: Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 11:24 am on October 15, 2009

It’s been a while since I linked over to JD at I Do Things So You Don’t Have To.  Not for want of reading, mind.  This happens to be one that I read every time there’s an update – probably for reasons somewhat akin to the Cake Wrecks site – you never know quite what you’ll see, but it has yet to disappoint.

Today, JD eats sardines (yeah, there’s a video link too) – and a grateful world (or at least a grateful yak) says Gracias, Xiexie, Domo Arigato, Grazie,  and as many other forms of “thank you” as possible for eliminating the need to personally savor the flavor of the only thing other than cockroaches likely to survive a nuclear holocaust.

And I don’t just say that because I happen to have an allergy to fish.  Though I admit it helps.

Any rate, I’m in the weeds today, but I thought you should all know J.D.’s out there and acting with all of our best interests at heart.

Put Down the Penguin and Back Away Slowly

Filed under: Christmas Alliance,News Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 11:04 pm on October 1, 2006

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Random Things That Torque Me: SUV Edition

Filed under: Just Yaks,Tips of the Horns,Yak Rants — Random Yak @ 12:59 pm on August 15, 2006

Inspired by this post at Bloggin’ Outloud. (Tip of the horns, Lyn Perry). A list of random things about SUVs and their drivers that I can’t easily live with, and could easily live without:

1.Traffic-View-Blockers. Like Lyn, close to the top of the list is sitting in the right turn lane, watching for my opening, and having some unmentionable in an SUV pull up on my left, completely blocking my view of oncoming traffic. (Particularly when – as is often the case – the SUV pulls into the crosswalk, much farther forward than necessity requires or law permits.)

2. Compact Parkers. Hey, lady? That Ford Expedition isn’t a compact car. And just because it’s the size of two compacts doesn’t mean you’resupposed touse two compact spaces to park it.

3. Size-Does-Matter Lane Changers. Don’t tell me SUV drivers never look over into the next lane and think “I don’t care if there’s room. I’m moving over, and you’ll either back off or hit me – but either way, my car will be fine.” (And if you’re one of the innocents, permit me to explain: you cannot, in fact, move an SUV into moving traffic every time you see a space the size of a Volkswagen Beetle.)

4. Handicappers. You know the types. The ones that pull a gigantic SUV into a handicapped space -apparently on the theory that “the fact that this monster won’t fit anywhere else in the lot is a handicap.” (No, it’s not a handicap, and in my opinion people who park their SUVs – or anything else, for that matter – in a handicapped place when they’re not handicapped deserve the right to display a handicapped placard – for injuries received as a result of taking a space from a legitimately handicapped person.)

5. Traffic-View-Blockers, Revisited. The ones who absolutely, positively must get that SUV in front of you on the highway – despite the fact that there’s nobody in front of them and their original lane is moving at precisely the same speed as yours. (I don’t know what’s so attractive about my lane, but every SUV in the state wants to be in it.)

6. Beam-It-Uppers. Driving down the interstate at night withthe high beams on despite the fact that there’s a car in front of you is obnoxious. Driving down the interstate in an SUV at night withthe high beams on despite the factthat there’s a car in front of you should be a capital offense. (Or, at a minimum, punishable by forcing you to swap places and drive for five hours with your own high beams burning holes in your retinas through the rear viewmirror of the unfortunate soul originally forced to drive in front of you.)

7. One-Irons. Meaning: anyone and everyone who drivesthat SUV like it’s a Honda Civic. Or aFerrari. Or anything else smaller than a World War II-eraarmored vehicle. (And named because only a talented few can actually hit a one iron- and only a talented few seem capable of driving a SUV properly.)Newsflash: the SUV is nota sportscar. It’s not a compact. It’s not asedan. It’s a Gigantic Piece of Equipment Better Left in the Hands of Someone Who Actually Understands WhatThey’re Driving.

Want to drive an SUV? Ask yourself the following: Have I recently sideswiped, almost sideswiped or otherwise come close to obliterating any vehicle smaller than mine? When parking, do I manage toget the entire vehicle between the two lines marking opposite sides of a single parking space? Do any of the seven categories above describe me or my behavior behind the wheel?

If so, please put the oversized vehicle down and step away slowly. Too much torque there for your own good.

Linked to the “Profiling The Enemy” OTP at third world county and the “Better Night’s Sleep” post at Adam’s Blog

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Are you Sam? Sam I Am?

Filed under: Just Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 4:26 pm on August 1, 2006

I might be.

At least,Adam’s Blogthinks I might be (though perhaps not in the way I’m about to discuss). I hope I am, for reasons that may become clear through the post that follows, which is a free-form response to the original Lord of the Blogs post over at Adam’s Blog (Yes, it took me a couple of days to get on this one. I’ve been busy.).

For those who won’t take my advice and go readthat good post (and no, I’m not just saying that because he said I’d be a good Sam) before coming back here, here’s the summary so my ramblings make some sense: Sean at My Election Analysischallenged bloggers to recast the Lord of the Rings using other bloggers. Left, Right, Center – all invited to play.

Adam had some troublewith the exercise, in part because he appropriately recognizes the difficulty we encounter when trying to “cast” certain types of Good and Evil in the blogosphere. Is there a blog as evil as Sauron? To those who’ve read the books carefully, probably not (Sorry, KOS – some might say you’re Saruman without the humor value, butin my opinionyou’rea horde of Uruk-Hai at best). Adam made a couple of casting choices – including yours truly as Sam (which he probably didn’t mean as the compliment I saw in it, but I’m taking it anyway) – but found the main characters more than a little difficult to cast.

And with good reason. Tolkien’s masterwork – like most good fantasy literature – contains heroes whose character rises above reality, as its villains plumb depths beyond what we can reasonably expect to encounter in daily life. This is a hallmark of quality “fantasy” literature – the author’s ability to populate the scene with heroic characters the reader can aspire to emulate and evils the reader is glad remain on the printed page.

Thinking about the exercise started me thinking about the characters themselves,about what they represent, about the way their character is – or is not – potentially present in my own and about whether or not I’d like to be what I see in each.

I cannot be Aragorn, Frodo or Gandalf. I am not a king, nor am I likely to become one(and even if I did, I wouldn’t be a king from a long line of kings). I am not the fulfillment of a prophesy from Days of Old, the bearer of a magical ringor a wise wizard capable of providing sage advice (and visions) when my friends are most in need. I am not a light-footed, pointy-eared elf capable of shooting the heads off my enemies at 200 paces (though I’m actually not a bad shot with a longbow). And I’m certainly not a demon from the depths of hell (despite popular opinion about lawyers to the contrary).

But, as Adam aptly observes, fantasy literature also contains the Merry, the Pippin and the Sam. Characters (often peripheral or supporting in nature, though integral to the story) who demonstrate values common to “everyman.”

I cannot beElrond – but I might just be Sam. At least, I’m certainly going to try.

(more…)

Filed under: News Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 4:24 pm on July 27, 2006

Best Unintentionally Ironic Quote of theDay:

“[President Bush is] the most divisive president probably in our history.”

“He’s always talking about those people. It’s always somebody else’s fault. It’s the gays’ fault. It’s the immigrants’ fault. It’s the liberals’ fault. It’s the Democrats’ fault. It’s Hollywood people,” Dean said. “Americans are sick of that. Even if you win elections doing that, you drag down our country.”

- Howard the Dean, speaking to a group of Florida business owners about why “Republican policies of deceit and finger-pointing are tearing America apart.”

Way to encourage unity, Howie.

Tip of the Horns, Balloon Juice


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Filed under: Frivol,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 12:33 pm on July 26, 2006

You know, someoneonce told methe L.A. Times wasn’t a dog and pony show.I guess they were right. It’s just a pony show.

Dedicated to going the extra mile for his people and his puplication (no, that’s not a typo), L.A. Times Managing Editor Doug Frantz apparently decidedhe knew”just the thing”to raise morale atthe Times: pony rides.

SoMonday afternoon, as temperatures soared, Frantz and 30 other Times employees enjoyed pony rides during the lunch hour. According to Frantz, a good time was had by all. (I notice, however, that no one got a comment from the ponies.) Have to admit, I find the visual somewhat amusing. Thirty assorted journalists standing in line in the blazing sun to take a turn riding around in a circle on a pony.

Think they’ll do a story on it? If they do, I’ve gotthe headlines:

  • Times Staff Fiddles While L.A. Burns
  • Subscription Ratesa Gamble? Times Editor Says “Let it Ride!”
  • Want to Work at the Times? Better Be Ready to PonyUp!
  • Doggin’ Work at the Pony Show

Got any more?

Tip of the horns, Don Surber.

Linked to the “I Like Balloons More than Business Trips” OTP at TMH’s Bacon Bits (for the record – I do too) and the Blogs of Summer OTP at Blue Star Chronicles.

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Filed under: Just Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 12:26 am on

While preparing to sign off and get some rare and much-deserved sleep(it’s my blog, I can deserve it if I want to) I heard a distinctive sound. (One I’ve heard a few more times than I care to remember.)

THWACK.

“Hmm,” I said, “That sounds suspiciously like a gauntlet hitting the ground.”

Didn’t take long to figure out where the sound came from. You see, it’s Wednesday, which in some corners of the Internet means White Trash Wednesday – and over at basil’s blog that means it’s time for another visit with Cousin Red. As it happens, Cousin Red heard about basil’s recent adventure with the Catfish and let’s just say he has his own take on the way things should have gone down.

Wouldn’t surprise me to learn that we haven’t heard the last of basil and the Catfish. For now, I’m re-filing this one under “developing stories.”

May this be the only way

Filed under: News Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 3:18 pm on July 18, 2006

An elderly man from Kabul has apparently presented a member of the U.S. Armed Forces with a very special – and dramatic – gift for President Bush: a hand-knotted rug bearing images of the President, along with the U.S. flag and Christian symbols.The rug, transferred from its maker to Greyson Gile via a Kabul rug merchant, could have earned its maker the death penalty under Taliban rule (and given the time required to knot a rug of its size – see the photo – the maker decided to risk his lifefor thisshowof gratitude).

Let this be a lesson to those who preach against U.S. involvement on the basis that the native oppressed don’t want (or need) assistance, and that we have no business helping to liberate those who would otherwise have been left in metal containers to die (you heard me – read the Anchoress’ article).

The articles I’ve read don’t say whether or not Gile has been given the opportunity to present the rug to President Bush personally. For my part, I hope he gets to do so, primarily because it would be nice to see an unbroken chain from the courageous artisan – to the merchant he trusted – to the American military bearer and finally to the intended recipient.I’m just sorrythe rugmaker probably won’t have the opportunity to shake the hand of the President he wanted to thank.

Tip of the horns,Kat at Cathouse Chat

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Tip of the Horns: IT Yak

Filed under: Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 10:31 pm on July 16, 2006

For managing an amazingconversion to WordPress in only a single weekend.

Major, major thanks for the new-but-virtually-identical look and feel. New functionality, same old familiar Yak style.

We may be sorting the bugs for a few days, but he’s done an amazing job, above and beyond the call of duty.

Three cheers for the only one capable of understanding the technology well enough to keep the rest of us blogging away!

Crabapples for everyone!

Filed under: Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 11:27 am on July 9, 2006

One of our blogging friends has a new website.

And it’s not just a website. It’s a festival – with free rides and cotton candy for everyone!

Okay, maybe I made that last part up. But you should still go see Crabapple, the newest venture from the-excellent-bloggers-who-brought-you-one-of-the-best-blogs-no-longer-on-the-web (who I’m not going to name until I know doing so won’t bring the posse down on his head).

How’s that for a recommendation?

Seriously. Go check out crabapple.cc. You can read, vote on what you read, post your own or reference something interesting. Easy to use, interesting to read. I have a feeling this one’s going to be a good resource once we all get the hang of it. Here’s a link to the explanation – which I’m also using to test the trackback feature.


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Filed under: Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 7:28 am on July 6, 2006

Check out what happens when Code Pink tries to taunt a group of high school students visiting The White House. Sound on and safe for work (though perhaps not for moonbat morale).

Good going, kids.

Tip of the horns, Six Meat Buffet.


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Someone Has Too Much Free Time.

Filed under: Frivol,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 9:38 am on June 19, 2006

Unfortunately, it isn’t me.

For anyone else with a little free time looking for some interesting reading:

Religious Affiliations of Comic Book Characters.

Note to the wise: it appears to be as serious a study as one can do with this sort of information, and it appears to have substantial research behind it. Amusing read, at least, if you’re into this kind of thing.

Tip of the horns, Llama Butchers.

Linked from Where I Stand (Adam’s Blog)

The Platypus Society Legislation Game

Filed under: Frivol,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 11:25 am on June 17, 2006

Chris at The Platypus Society has a great article up about the Vampire Slayer Act (a piece of California legislation that unfortunately doesn’t do what you might think it does) and some takeoffs that also use television references to describe legislation. He also called for contributions. I’m offering mine here:

The Iron Chef Food Collection and Distribution Act. Requires that contributors to canned and boxed food drives must be able to describe at least one way in which the homeless or poor recipients of his or her contribution could use the food item in a “real life” meal situation. An addendum requires that the contributor must be willing to eat the described item. (Originally called the Canned Oyster Elimination Act)

The Pokemon Mall Parenting Act. Provides that no parent or family may take their children to the mall (or any other public place) unless they possess the demonstrated ability and inclination to catch them all.

The South Park Elementary School Speech Act. Fines parents and teachers every time they let their children get away with saying anything you cannot say on prime time “G”-rated network television. An addendum permits private citizens to “bleep” offensive child speech using an airhorn directed at the offending minor.

The American Idol Co-Worker Silencing Act. Employees can now vote, on a weekly basis, to stop one of their co-workers from discussing reality television shows in the workplace.

Got submissions? Post ‘em, link ‘em and share ‘em around. Make sure you give The Platypus Society credit so Chris keeps the good games coming…

Linked from The Platypus Society

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Young Releases Album…Skynyrd Gets More Airtime

Filed under: Just Yaks,Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 6:56 am on April 27, 2006

Yes, I mean “the” Neil Young. And no, he’s not dead (though today’s Day by Day definitely has the proper assessment of his artistic, er, merit). In fact, he seems to have forgotten the corollary to the old adage that “Every Dog Has His Day” which says “And once his day is gone, he goes back to woofing at dandelions and no one pays attention.”

Young has put out a new album titled “Living With War” (does he remember which war he’s talking about?). The album includes a track titled, “Impeach the President” in which Young accuses “the president” of lying, hiring thieves, spying on citizens in their homes, hijacking “our” religion (which religion would that be, Mr. Young? Can’t recall seeing you in church lately), neglecting “black people” (apparently you’re only “African American” if it works with the meter) and … cracking down on steroids? (Seems someone was struggling a bit for ideas there at the end…)

My first reaction will probably turn out to be the most oft-cited, but I’m saying it anyway:

“Well, I hope Neil Young will remember/a Southern man don’t need him around anyhow”

Go away, Mr. Young. You’ve had your time in the sun, and even if Fox News says parents are going to be hearing their kids singing “Impeach the President” I’m guessing the median age of your fan base is closer to retirement than rebellion. Nobody’s going to notice a few more moonbats running around singing “Impeach the President” – all that’s changed is that Young was a good enough marketer to set their barks to music.

That, and I’m guessing I hear “Sweet Home Alabama” played more frequently on the radio.

Tip of the horns, Don Surber

Linked to the “What’s Everybody Talking About Mid-Week” OTP at Blue Star Chronicles and the Ho-Hum Bacon Break (gotta love Eeyore) at TMH’s Bacon Bits (mmm…bacon bits)


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Is it still shameless self-promotion if someone else does it first??

Filed under: Tips of the Horns — Random Yak @ 7:09 pm on April 5, 2006

Well, we linked in on Monday morning (without mentioning that he’d named us…because instant self-promotion is hard even for a Yak) but now that the smoke has cleared a little…the Maniyak and I would like to thank David over at Third World County for the links and for naming us his "Under-Read Blog of the Week" – we probably are under-read by blogosphere standards (meaning we’re not pulling in daily six-digits yet by any means) and we appreciate the attention.

That, and we like getting his email….

For those who don’t read Third World County – read it. David’s on my permanent Daily Reading blogroll for a reason – and it’s not easy to get there.


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