The Random Yak

Pre-Thanksgiving Weekend Re-Post: A Visit From Smallest Cat

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 9:25 am on November 20, 2009

‘Twas the night before turkey, and all through the place

I saw smiles of longing on every face;

The cranberries were canned in gelatinous goo,

waiting just to be eaten by me and by you;

The stuffing was cubed, for the bread to go stale,

While outside a big rainstorm was blowing a gale.

Now the Spouse on a hunter and I on a priest,

Had just re-specced for raiding (one holy, one beast),

When out in the kitchen arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the computer to see what’s the matter.

Away to the pantry I flew like a flash,

Tore open the doors and examined my cache.

The moon on the eyes of the creature below

Gave a Halloween lustre, an ominous glow.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

a Small Cat, black of hair, with small feet and big ear,

and an attitude problem so easy to see,

That I knew in a moment which one it must be.

More rapid than eagles she raced from the room,

As my eyes looked around, and I saw, to my doom;

She’d invaded the cupboard, licked apples and pears,

and subjected potatoes to more than just glares,

From the top of the stove to the top pantry shelf

She had ’sampled’ Thanksgiving, claimed it all for herself.

As all cats that before threats of punishment fly,

when seeing the master, too fast for the eye;

So out of the kitchen our Smallest Cat flew,

(with a last stolen crumb, in some hideout to chew).

And then, in a twinkling, I heard the Spouse call

in a voice growing loud as it came down the hall.

So I drew in a breath, and was turning around,

trying hard to decide how to make the truth sound,

When I noticed the kitten, gripped ever so firm,

in a headlock that thwarted her determined squirm.

A handful of scruff the Spouse held firm and tight,

to my eyes, it seemed justice might be served this night.

Kitty’s eyes, how they twinkled! Her whiskers, how merry!

Wait a minute…she’s chewing a stolen blackberry!

Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

from the taste or the grip, I had no way to know.

The stub of a pie she held tight in her teeth,

as the Spouse looked around for a sword to unsheath;

For not only had kitty invaded the food,

she had ruined our raiding, destroyed the good mood.

Yet, although she’d committed a cardinal sin,

I laughed when I saw her, so fuzzy and thin;

and despite being captured she showed no remorse,

(this doesnt surprise a cat owner, of course).

The Spouse spoke not a word, but went straight to the work

of assessing the damage; then turned with a jerk,

and laying a finger aside that cat’s rear,

with a firm “Bad, BAD KITTY”, but no shedding of tears;

We sprang into action, the pantry to clean,

and from all of the wreckage the leavings to glean.

But I found myself thinking, as she hove out of sight,

I’ll be thankful on Thursday – Cat’s thankful tonight.

A Rainy Tuesday Haiku

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 2:47 pm on October 13, 2009

First rain of the fall.

Tapping on the balcony.

Think I’ll make a fire.

Random Tuesday Poetry

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 6:50 pm on May 5, 2008

 

Sitting in the weeds,

Looking for the other side.

Won’t get there today.

Christmas Haiku 2007

Filed under: Just Yaks,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 12:54 pm on December 14, 2007

Based on our current page ranking, an almost unbelievable number of people (most of whom should be working!) are surfing the web in search of Christmas Haiku.

What can I say? The Random Yak won’t let you down:

.

Nine-foot noble fir

In my eight-foot living room

Christmas EPIC FAIL!

A Haiku About Recent Experience

Filed under: Just Yaks,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 11:13 am on September 5, 2007

Blog on vacation!

What a splendid idea.

Look! No Internet!

Postal Poetry

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 10:53 am on May 14, 2007

In honor of the new rate changes (and the fact that my “fat letter” now costs more than your skinny one, even if they weigh the same amount):

Puffy marshmallow
Do not send it through the mail!
Cost you arm and leg!

These are calipers
We use them to measure mail
Oh no! This one fat!

If you’re going to send out the mail
And you don’t want your postage to fail,
You must measure the weight
and the width calculate
To be sure the thing fits on the snail.

Trackposted to Pirate’s Cove, The Bullwinkle Blog, third world county, and stikNstein… has no mercy, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Stopping by Dentists on a Sunny Morning

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 6:04 am on May 9, 2007

With great apologies to Robert Frost:

Whose tooth this is I think I know
It has a brand new filling though;
All afternoon, it throbs – I fear
The pain should have stopped long ago.

My co-workers must think it queer
To see me stopping work right here
Between lunchtime and four pm -
At a productive time of year.

They give the door a little shake
And ask if there is some mistake,
The dentist’s chair has never caused
This Yak to quiver or to quake.

The cavity was dark and deep,
But meds will help – so do not weep -
I think I’ll just go home and sleep.
I think I’ll just go home and sleep.


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Thursday News in Limericks

Filed under: News Yaks,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 12:41 pm on March 22, 2007


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This would eventually put chase loans or in this case, Bell Mobility out of business.

Filed under: News Yaks,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 1:36 pm on March 21, 2007

I like Haiku. Reassuring little 5-7-5 snippets of truth.

I don’t usually like news much. Probably because most of it serves as a reminder that just outside my office walls, the barking and flapping remains nearly deafening.

Been trying to figure out a good way to deal with the news for a while now, and I’ve come to a decision. Ignoring it while I figure out what to do isn’t really working for me. Or for you, if the traffic numbers are any indication. So, welcome to the New And Improved Yak News Feature, or as I like to call it, “randomly fumbling around with whatever idea arcs across my hypercaffeinated brain and seems like a good way to address the issue at the time.” When we find one that works, we’ll stay with it.

Until then, you’re pretty much at the mercy of whatever entertains me at the moment. Today’s offering: Headline Haiku (and yes, it’s inspired by the Chinese food haiku I did ten minutes ago).

Timely, News-related poetry below the fold: (more…)

A Defiant and Thoroughly Honest Haiku

Filed under: Just Yaks,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 1:20 pm on

I like Chinese food.

No matter what surveys say.

Watch me eat kung pao.


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Officials from these jurisdictions argue that using study abroad loans paras while driving is an impediment to vehicle operation that can increase the risk of road traffic accidents.

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Numerous studies have reported no significant relationship between loans tx in day dallas pay use and health.

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Breaks were introduced into monthly personal loan payments to avoid this problem, resulting in the common ring-pause-ring cadence pattern used today.

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In places where loans sf in area personal bay noise would be disturbing.

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[5] Real tones, which are often excerpts from pop songs, have become popular as carlos loan portugal spam s.

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U.S-E.R. of the Day: Christmas Haiku

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 8:10 am on December 22, 2006

Christmas Haiku search

is our U.S-E.R. of the day

We are Number Nine.

In the interest of moving up the Christmas Haiku Google listings, I offer the following Christmas haiku:

.

On Google:

Googleverse has said

Randomyak is not the best

at Christmas Haiku

.

On Google, Again:

Christmas Haiku time

Moving up the Googleverse

Go, yak, go, yak, go.

(more…)

Christmas Haiku, part deux

Filed under: Christmas Alliance,Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 12:47 pm on December 18, 2006

My shopping is done.

Neener, neener, I am done.

Have you finished too?

.

I have just been told

Santa says gloating is bad

(I’m not sorry though).

(more…)

Holy, Holy, Holy Haiku

Filed under: Christmas Alliance,Faith Yak,Just Yaks,Yak Poetry — Maniyak @ 12:54 pm on December 13, 2006

Stars glittering bright

Since that first Christmas night, still

Lead us to God’s light.

Stopping by Women with Too Much Perfume

Filed under: Yak Poetry — Random Yak @ 3:50 pm on December 11, 2006


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Rhyming On Cue

Filed under: Frivol,Just Yaks,Yak Poetry — Maniyak @ 8:07 am on October 2, 2006


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