A new law in South Carolina requires all subversive organizations (defined as those who “advocate, teach, advise or practice the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing, or overthrowing the government of the United States”) must now register with the South Carolina secretary of state and pay a $5 “Subversive Registration Fee.”
By way of comparison, it costs $20.00 to register your dog (though admittedly only $4.00 if he’s neutered … and that one we’ll just allow to fisk itself). In other words: you can own four subversives for the cost of just one pit bull. If that ain’t a deal, I don’t know what is.
Failure to register your subversive organization can result in fines of $25,000 or ten years in prison – a fairly steep sentence, but hey…that’s what happens when you refuse to fill in the necessary forms.
(Word to the wise: the state doesn’t explain the consequences if you DO fill out the necessary forms. I suspect, however, that the uniformed men knocking on your door aren’t from the tourism board.)
The Fits News blog comments:
“In the long and storied history of utterly retarded legislation in South Carolina, we may have finally found the legal statute that takes the cake for sheer stupidity”
Despite my general dislike of the adjective “retarded” to describe such actions (frankly, I find it insulting to the truly mentally deficient, most of whom would have recognized that this plan is too simpleminded even for someone who struggles not to drool on himself) I think Fits News probably hit this nail squarely on the head. In fact, this probably rivals the IRS’ relatively well-known mandate on the declaration of illegally-obtained income for all-out Fail. (And yes, I know the real reason for the statutes is often to provide a secondary cause of action to authorize the arrest of people we don’t have enough evidence to arrest on “real” charges. That still won’t make me stop laughing at the theoretical entries on a mob hit man’s Schedule C Declaration of Self-Employment income. Or his conversations with his accountant. Which employment code DO you use for “contract murder”?)
In semi-related news, the Democratic and Republican parties have not issued a statement regarding their intent to cooperate with the new law. I guess that kind of takeover and control doesn’t count…
Still, if you live in South Carolina, please register your politicians now. After all, we don’t want them to accidentally end up in jail before their time.







